What Is Happiness? A Nine-Year Journey Back to Myself
I used to Google “What is happiness?” Now I write the very answer my younger self prayed to find.
Nine years ago, I typed the words what is happiness? into Google, over and over, hoping the screen would reveal a map for my lost, aching heart.
I remember the hollow buzzing in my chest, the confusion, the heaviness of pretending I was “fine.” I didn’t know then that nine years later, I’d be writing this exact piece… not for the world, but for the girl I used to be.
The one who felt alone inside her own existence, drowning in questions no one had taught her how to hold.
Back then, happiness felt like a moving target something I needed to earn, perform, or purchase.
Billboards screamed it. Brands sold it. Celebrities flaunted it. Society taught me to chase it.
Buy this, to be happy.
Look like this, to be happy.
Get the job title, to be happy.
Be interesting enough, impressive enough, desirable enough, to be happy.
So I tried.
I collected the right clothes, the right friends, the right milestones.
I dated the shiny man everyone wanted.
I worked out not to love myself, but to outrun my emptiness.
I said yes to belonging in groups that never felt like home.
And every night, after all the doing and achieving and pretending…
I laid in bed with an ache so quiet and so deep it felt like it lived inside my bones.
Happiness wasn’t in any of the things I chased.
But they did point me toward something: the heartbreaking truth that I had abandoned myself while trying to be someone the world would applaud.
Happiness didn’t arrive when life was perfect.
It arrived the moment I finally stopped running from myself.
It arrived when I learned to sit with my truth.
When I forgave the chapters I wished never happened.
When I stopped blaming my childhood and started honoring the woman it shaped me to become.
When I realized that the nights that broke me open were actually sacred initiations into my sovereignty.
Happiness became a muscle something I cultivated, something I chose, something I practiced until it became my baseline.
Here is what I know now, in my bones:
Happiness is self-honesty.
Happiness is listening to your body before the world.
Happiness is respecting yourself like a sacred altar.
Happiness is owning your needs without apology.
Happiness is saying no without explanation and feeling peace, not guilt.
Happiness is accepting your family for who they are, not who you want them to be.
Happiness is forgiveness not because it was okay, but because you grew from it.
Happiness is drinking clean water and feeling gratitude ripple through your cells.
Happiness is treating your health as your highest form of wealth.
Happiness is deep conversations with people who meet your soul.
Happiness is choosing what your future self will thank you for.
Happiness is living in alignment with your truth, even when others find it “too much.”
Happiness is being the kind of presence that feels like a gift.
Happiness is knowing your choices ripple into the lives of many.
Happiness is your capacity to recreate yourself, again and again, without limit.
Happiness is surrounding yourself with people who amplify your greatness.
Happiness is trusting your inner knowing even when the path is still dark.
Happiness is feeling life, fully.
Happiness is listening to the quiet whisper in the night that says: You’re doing well. Keep going.
Because the truth is:
Happiness was never outside.
It was always the home within me I had forgotten how to enter.
Nine years ago, you Googled “What is happiness?”
Now… you’re reading the answer written by a woman who learned to build happiness from the inside out.
And if you’re here, your soul is whispering: It’s your turn.
It’s time to stop numbing. Time to stop performing. Time to stop waiting for life to feel “perfect.” It’s time to come back home to yourself.
If you feel the pull… if you feel the stirring in your chest… if you’re tired of the same emotional loops…
I invite you into a private call with me. Not to “fix” you, but to return you to the version of you who knows how to feel alive again.
Imagine who you become when your happiness is self-generated.
When your peace is unshakeable.
When your presence elevates every room you walk into.
When your life starts reflecting the woman you always knew you could be.
Now imagine who you remain
if you don’t take this step.
If you stay in the loop.
If you keep waiting for permission, clarity, validation.
One choice expands your entire future.
The other keeps you circling the same emotional ground.
Choose the path your soul has been quietly pointing you toward.
Let’s walk this next chapter together.
Joanne Genoza
Joanne Genoza