The Inner State of Things.
Lots of words are dancing through my head, creating a kind of techno rhyme that makes me wanna dance. I used to dream—sometimes even feel jealous—of people who had English as their first language. Damn, these people could rule the world. It must be so much easier for them to articulate their ideas in writing or in speech.
I think everyone should write a book. Everyone has a story to tell.
I love sitting in a soft chair that holds my body upright, my butt gently sinking into it, my whole body relaxed, listening to the rhythm of the keyboard as my well-polished nails dance on top of it. It’s a party—my own private party. Add in a perfectly blended latte… yummm. Life feels like a celebration in this moment.
My head is like a supercomputer. It has its own way of processing things—present, future, all kinds of scenarios. And I love how it creates this beautiful movie in my mind until—woollaaah—I come up with a grand way of understanding life… always through the lens of love.
And you know that feeling of excitement when you just want to share beauty and whatever light you have with others, especially the people you care about most?
When I’m not lost in my head, I consciously check in with the world around me. I observe how people stand tall, move their hands, show expressions on their faces, and choose their words. I wonder: What’s their deepest intention in sharing this with me? What are their true needs? How do they want me to understand them? That’s when connection begins.
Right now, I feel so much joy in my heart. I can sit in silence and still let the words flow, one by one. I am deeply grateful for this life. Life has so much to offer—if we widen our perspective and become aware of the stories running through our minds.
This morning, as I walked from my house to the coffee shop, my thoughts were: We perceive and understand the present moment based on our inner state. Sure, this is open for debate. But I’m not here to be right. I’m just a woman who loves to share—and I invite you to come up with your own understanding.
Okay, back to my thoughts.
If my inner state at the moment is stuck in “victim mode,” then as I walk, I’ll unconsciously search for evidence that proves I’m right. If I meet people, I’ll guard myself—believing they might hurt me. And all of that happens before they even say a word.
Or, if someone seems harmless, I might unconsciously seek to be saved—because in victim mode, there’s that unheard voice whispering, “Maybe this is the person who will take me out of the doom.” And expectations start to rise before the person even opens their mouth.
Okay, let me sip my coffee. Let’s switch gears.
I’m back. Do you know that two sips of coffee and a sip of sparkling water can take you to heaven and back? Haha.
Now let’s shift into a new inner state—the fabulous human that we are. You get to choose words that best describe your highest self. For me, I’ll step into my fabulous inner state and rewind my walk to the coffee shop.
As I walk, I feel the strength of my legs, one foot stepping in front of the other, hips gently swaying side to side—oh yum, to have this body, my one and only sacred vehicle in this lifetime. In my fabulous inner state, I embody gratitude. I feel the sunlight kiss my skin, and its warmth goes straight into my heart.
At the door, the security guard stands, gazing into the distance with a blank face. I catch his eyes, smile, and greet him. He opens the door for me, and another surge of gratitude rushes through my chest. As I walk past him, I silently sprinkle energy of gratitude toward him—hoping it lands in his heart.
Then I’m greeted by a well-groomed barista who asks with excitement what I’d like to order. I say it like it’s the most beautiful rhyme—because I always order the same thing. While I wait for my coffee, I watch and appreciate how the staff moves in harmony, each playing their role with grace.
Two lovers beside me gently brush against my arm. And because I’m in my fabulous state, I feel the playful love between them. I’m reminded of that sweet bubble of connection—when you’re with your beloved and the rest of the world fades away. Time slows, senses heighten, and all you feel is love. It’s such a blessing to be in that bubble from time to time—away from the chaos of the world, which constantly bombards us with fear and bad news. I think we all need to be reminded that our role here is to add beauty, to serve, to contribute. Like the sun—steadily shining, nourishing hearts.
What I hope to impart in this writing is the importance of self-awareness. But not in the way our parents or teachers taught us—pointing out what’s wrong, making us tense, fearful of making mistakes. Breeds inner conflict and rigidity. You hold it all in… until one wrong move makes everything fall apart. That’s not the vibe.
The vibe of self-awareness is soft. It’s continuous, quiet, present. It’s spending time with yourself. If you haven’t yet read my piece The Power of Solitude, I highly recommend it.
Self-awareness is about being fully present with your thoughts, your body sensations, your interactions, your co-creations. You become the main operator of your own being. You notice what’s out of alignment with how you desire to live, and you shine a gentle light on it. You assess your options. And you require to cultivate your self-leadership.
So now, with gentle self-observation…
What is your inner state?
With love,
Joanne Genoza
Joanne Genoza
