From Pain to Power: The Alchemy of Self-Acceptance

Who Are You Without the Story? Do you ever wonder who you are without the story from the past?

I feel you. I may not know the exact details of what you’ve been through, but I know the weight of a heart that’s been aching for far too long. If I could glimpse even a fraction of how heavy it’s been to carry…how long you’ve been holding it all together… I’d probably place my hand on yours and just breathe with you.

Our stories may be different yours uniquely yours but the ache? That deep, quiet ache in the heart? That, I know. Because I’ve felt it too.

The heartbreak. The confusion. The looping questions: Why did this happen? How could they do that?

And then, the spiral into self-doubt, shame, and the silent question that haunts so many of us: What if I was never enough to begin with?

When we can’t find a valid reason outside of ourselves, we turn inward and that inner voice? It can be brutal. Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe I’m not sexy enough. Not smart enough. Not lovable. Not fun. Not worthy.

And without realizing it, we start stacking all these false beliefs like evidence. Until we land in a place of painful certainty: Yep. I knew it. I was the problem all along.

We anchor ourselves in that false truth just because it’s familiar. We park in the space of being “right” about our brokenness, instead of asking what’s actually true—what’s right about this moment, about us, about our capacity to grow.

I know. That’s a hard pill to swallow.

But stay with me.

Because I know you’ve tried to run from this feeling. You’ve circled the block of distraction kept yourself busy, avoided the ache. But here you are, circling back again. That means something. This is the moment to pause. To sit. To breathe. Yes breathe with it.

Or if you’re listening to this hear me fully.

Relax your whole body. Feel your feet on the ground. Let yourself feel the support of Mother Earth holding you right now. You are safe. You are supported.

Now take a deep breath in. Let your belly and chest expand. Exhale slowly. Feel the wave of calm move through you. Do it again. And again. Let each inhale take you deeper. Let each exhale soften the tension just a little more.

Now let’s zoom out just for a moment. Let’s expand our awareness.

One reason we avoid what’s aching inside is because no one ever taught us how to sit with it. How to stay with it. We haven’t learned how to self-regulate—how to hold ourselves in pain without spiraling.

So instead, we chase logic. We try to fix, to correct, to get justice. But healing doesn’t live there. The breakthrough isn’t in the “why” of what happened—it’s in how we respond to ourselves when it hurts.

Breathe again. Come back to your body.

You are allowed to feel what’s here. All of it.

You are also allowed to learn how to stay with it without judging it, rushing it, or making it mean something about your worth.

From resistance to acceptance it’s not a leap, it’s a softening.

Soften your body. Open your chest. Let go just a little of the grip. This is an invitation to harness your inner strength. Not through force, but through presence.

And let me be clear: acceptance doesn’t mean what happened was okay. Acceptance means you’re ready to learn from it. To see what this moment is here to teach you.

Every experience, yes, especially the hard ones has something to teach us. It’s all part of our evolution, our unfolding, our becoming. If you zoom out far enough, you’ll see it: every crack that split your heart wide open also created space for it to expand. To forgive. To understand. To love more deeply.

I know it sounds wild, but stay with me.

Now—bring one painful memory to mind. Something recent, or something that still lingers. Let the story come forward. Stay present. Feel what you feel. If it gets intense, trust your body. You can self-regulate. You already are. Just breathe deeper now.

What is this experience teaching you?

If you release the resistance, you’ll notice something profound: your capacity to be with discomfort grows. Your body strengthens. Your mind stabilizes. You meet yourself at a deeper level.

I always say we don’t know how strong we are until we sit in our pain.

This story this moment is expanding your consciousness. It’s reminding you: this didn’t happen to you. It’s happening for you. To cultivate your strength. To teach you how to trust yourself more.

And the more you zoom out, the more you’ll realize: every person in your life is playing a role. Every test, every challenge it’s either showing you what still needs healing or reminding you that you’re ready to rise.

Here’s the challenging part the one that can feel frustrating. It invites us to harness patience and a deeper, more profound understanding. You may reach a point where you’ve gained wisdom from the experience.

You feel it in your heart, and you speak it gently to your mind.

But your body… your body still requires time. Still has to go through the process. To feel it all the emotional pain, the anger, the frustration.

Every emotion must be honored, allowed, and felt.

Think of your emotions like a crying baby. You wouldn’t expect a baby to stop crying instantly. You hold it. You soothe it. You stay with it.

And that’s how we stay with ourselves.

Emotional intelligence means learning how to be the witness of our emotions—not the reactor. To hold space for them. To let them move through us, instead of consuming us.

Energy in motion that’s all emotion is.

So move it. Cry. Dance. Shake. Journal. Breathe. Paint. Write. Run. Let the energy move not to escape the feeling, but to transmute it. To turn it into fuel.

That’s the difference between bypassing and healing.

It’s subtle but powerful.

Now… inhale deeply. Exhale fully.

Let me leave you with this:

Everything that has happened in your life even the parts you wish were different is a lesson. A teacher. An invitation to evolve into a greater version of yourself.

Start there.

Open your heart.

Stay present.

Accept what is.

Feel what comes.

Trust your body’s wisdom.

Let your awareness guide you, not your fear.

Trust that you are deeply capable.

You have everything it takes to move through this.

And sometimes, all we require is a reminder from someone who’s walked through their own pain. Let me be that person for you.

When you’re standing at the peak of a difficult moment,

I know how hard it is to see from a higher perspective. But let me come a little closer.

Let me remind you:

One day, you’ll look back at this very moment

at the story that once brought so much pain

and you’ll feel something you never expected: gratitude.

Because this?

This is what’s propelling you into an even greater version of yourself.

And of course, things don’t just shift overnight.

Transformation takes time.

It asks for your full participation for you to choose, again and again, the actions that honor your heart, both now and in the days to come.

with love,

Joanne Genoza

The Essence of My Coaching: Why Clients Choose to Work With Me.

I never planned to become a coach. Back then, I was simply a traveler, wandering across Asia, teaching yoga in every country I landed in. That was my way of giving back… one breath, one movement, one heart at a time. As my love for the practice deepened, I began

HeartflowJoanne Genoza