Are You Secretly Sabotaging Your Own Happiness?
Are You Allowing Yourself to Be Happy?
You're right, we aren’t here just to be happy or to find happiness.
But maybe just maybe you’ll allow yourself to feel happy after reading this piece.
Just like many things in life that can be measured, happiness is something we each experience in varying degrees. We all have a capacity a limit, even to how much happiness we allow ourselves to feel. That capacity is shaped in childhood and can expand as we grow, heal, and evolve.
The intention of this piece is simple: to bring awareness.
To invite you to pause and contemplate
How much are you allowing yourself to experience happiness?
Have you ever found yourself in a new place, with new people, yet repeating a familiar experience?
Nothing is necessarily wrong and maybe, on the surface, you feel content.
But if there’s a whisper in your heart, a longing that says,
“There must be more for me…”
…and you begin searching for it only to realize it was always around you, within you
Then it brings us back to the real question:
How much are you allowing yourself to be happy?
You can pause here, if you like. Close your eyes.
Take a breath. Ask yourself:
“Am I allowing myself to be happy enough?”
Here’s the truth:
Most of us unconsciously limit how much happiness we allow
Even when we deeply long for it.
If you were raised in chaos, or if instability was your normal, then peace might feel foreign.
And when life finally presents you with joy, calm, or love, you might unconsciously sabotage it not because you want to suffer, but because your nervous system doesn’t know what to do with peace.
And in that process, you don’t just hurt yourself you may also hurt the people who love you.
Then you’re left lying in bed, wondering: What’s happening to me?
Frustrated.
Exhausted.
Hoping something will change.
Not realizing:
You’ve been the one unconsciously creating the same scenario, again and again.
But don’t worry.
This happens to all of us.
That’s why I’m writing this for you, for me, for all of us who are beginning to hear the deeper longing of our soul, of our hearts.
That ache in the chest.
The tiredness of repeating the same emotional loops.
Here’s your journal prompt. Let it be a moment of truth:
- Where am I limiting myself from fully being happy?
- What is my fear around fully allowing myself to experience happiness?
- Knowing that everything I desire is already here what would happen if I let my guard down?
As I said at the beginning we aren’t here just to be happy.
We are here to experience all of life.
But still…
How much of happiness are you truly allowing in?
Let me tell you this
I, and most people in the world, silently rejoice when we see someone fulfilled.
Because deep down, your happiness reminds us that we’re allowed to feel it too.
Have you ever had a day where you truly allowed yourself to live fully?
You showed up differently.
You communicated and connected more openly.
And every interaction felt nourishing.
Yes, that’s right.
The fullness of your being is your greatest contribution to the world.
Action Plan:
Ask yourself:
What choices and decisions can I make starting today to bring more joy, more meaning, and more fulfillment into my life?
Ready to Go Deeper?
Becoming aware of your patterns is a powerful first step.
But awareness alone isn’t enough
It’s in the processing, in going to the root of why you limit your happiness,
that true clarity and transformation happen.
That’s the work we do together in private 1:1 coaching.
This is your sacred space to unravel the old stories, gently meet the parts of you that still carry fear, and expand your capacity for joy, peace, and fulfillment without abandoning yourself.
If this spoke to something inside you, I invite you to take the next step.
Let’s explore what’s possible when you stop just surviving and start fully allowing yourself to live.
You don’t have to figure it all out alone. And you’re not meant to stay stuck in loops that no longer serve you.
This is your time. Let’s walk through it together.
Joanne Genoza
